Happy Meals.

This is a famous, sad photo I snagged from the web.

So Happy Meals are still around. I saw an ad on television and I realized how wrong they were for the very first time. They are a perfect brainwashing technique to encourage childhood obesity. Not only are the meals fatty and full of sugar and salt (the perfect snack food combination for many- think of yogurt covered pretzels, for example), but they chuck in a toy with every lousy, dangerous meal, so that in a very Pavlovian way kids equate junk fast food with good times and fun. By the time they're teenagers that message pretty much has the key to the city of their brains.

Late, But Is Love Ever Too Late?

Swipey McSwiperson swiped these from the BAT-BLOG.


There are more hilarious, head-scratchingly odd Batman things on there too.

Creepy Ghost In The Mirror.

Creepy, since I don 't know what the gentleman narrating is saying.

Probably something about candy.

Politicize Me!

Here's a tee shirt intelligently designed to protect you against culture warriors. My friend independent rock person Demian Johnston made this and they're available at Cafe Press.

By the way- did you know Cafe Press can now provide designs on black tee shirts? No more pale yellow and pink shirts showing through transparent designs. It's the tee shirt equivalent of that ape man throwing the bone into the air in 2001. It's a whole new day.

BUY!

Fox News' Daily Show Ripoff.

Fox News' fake news show. Excuse me, I just had a mild irony seizure.

Doesn't Fox realize that:
A.) Conservatives are never funny. This is true and cannot be argued.
B.) Having this shown on the Fox News Channel outs them as being as biased as everyone has ever accused them of being in the past, and
C.) Fox News is supposedly a News Channel- not an entertainment channel! Comedy Central is an entertainment channel. I don't know what FNC is all about (certainly not news as we know it) but it's not entertainment.

On the other hand, this ain't entertainment either. One of the most depressing, amateurish productions ever to burn money on television. And that's either a laugh track or the studio audience from Mama's Family. See for yourself.

Update: This article pretty much sums up everything I wanted to say about this leaked clip of Fox's Daily Show. Perfectly.

And don't forget to read the Slate article referenced in that link. It's a little mean, but unlike the 'humor' in the Fox show, at least it's relevant.

Another Disgusting Product For Kids.

Toys you can eat! Food you can play with!

Ok, real kids know that almost anything can fit into either category, but these are actual candy toys. Superhero action figures made out of sugar and chemicals. This review says they're a messy failure as both foodstuffs and as playthings, but let your toddler's windpipe be the judge.

However, a sticky, edible toy does seem like a good way for a child to get their minimum daily requirement of lint and hair.

More here.

For the record, I neither approve or condone these horrible things and I also have never laid eyes on them. I think the "brains" behind this project should be tarred, feathered, keel hauled and then shot out of a cannon over the horizon.

Money. Get Back.

According to Discover.com, the smell of metal on coins is not metal at all, but the stank of a thousand, thousand hands and everywhere those hands have been and everything those hands have touched; every loafer that ever offered itself up to your penny.

Remember: When you spend a quarter you're also spending everyone that quarter's ever been with. Wear protection. Wrap your coins.

What a wonderful world.

With brilliant little stories in it like this one:

"When You Ride Alone You Ride With Hitler" by Andrew David. Give him all of your love.

Francis Crick- The Acid Eater That Discovered the DNA Double Helix.

Tune In, Turn On, Begin Sequencing.

Here's a bonus: a hot girl on acid. That's the actual title.

Not Good For You.

But so delicious. Giant sized Goldfish crackers from Pepperidge Farms. They're huge, too. About the acreage of a half dollar coin. They are packed with fat, so look out!

The Helsinki Complaints Choir.

The perfect Finnish for the end of your work day.