Automatic Daddy

Is Your Spinach Running Low?

2010-09-01T14:03:00.000-07:00

And now, from a parallel dimension like ours in all ways except taste, comes the National Anthem of the United States of Awesome.

Scott Pilgrim vs The Marx Bros.

2010-08-23T01:25:00.000-07:00

Watching Scott Pilgrim, I realized something about Michael Cera that I had never before realized. He looks like a young Harpo Marx. I mean, he looks EXACTLY like a young Harpo Marx.

I don't know what you ought to do with this information, but I thought you might want to know.

Briliant Marketing Strategy

2010-08-22T17:25:00.000-07:00

A new post, in which I offer an example of the kind of work I might do for an ad agency that does not care about losing clients or being sued.

Oh, The Lies I Tell!

2010-07-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

After saying this blog was open for business again (the bedbug and rodent filth problems here are a thing of the past) I haven't updated in a week. I'll get around to it.

Several distractions have threatened to swallow me whole. One, the ol' HP Notebook died again. I wouldn't buy an HP life preserver if I were drowning. This is the third motherboard this thing's destroyed in a year and a half, and the second in six months' time. I've got coverage through Fry's, and to say that they're difficult in this area is a ridiculous understatement.

I am subbing for a friend of mine, teaching a cartooning class in Seattle. Just two days, but the early and the late day classes, which means working on my other work in a coffee shop in Capitol Hill waiting for the second class of the day after the first is finished. A distraction, but the nerves leading up to doing it were far more distracting. It's a great place, the kids are very cool for the most part, and I like doing it.

I'm working on a mini comic and a larger project or three as well. I like being busy, but this is a little too much.

But things are thinning out, focusing and looking up. I will have a real blog post up this weekend, and I'll update every couple of days after that. If you subscribe to this, I'll try to make it worth your while once again. If you don't subscribe, my aim is to make you do so.

Thanks

T

One Thing About This Blog

2010-07-09T00:02:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

I'm coming back to posting on this blog after an extended hiatus. In the time I've been gone, apparently viewing this blog as it was created has become difficult using some browsers.

Now, I don't know it it's a Google/Blogger thing or a Firefox thing, but many of the images posted here are not showing up when I look at this blog in Firefox. That goes for my other blogs as well. It's not me, it's not you, it is THEY. I've written to both outfits, but Mozilla is very unresponsive to any requests for assistance with Firefox and I don't think anyone works for Google anymore. Getting a tech response from them is like writing "Help" on a napkin, putting it in a bottle and tossing it into the ocean.

However, newish browser Google Chrome, while awful for some things (like navigating and using Facebook), turns out to be excellent for viewing Google brand blogs. Coincidence? I'm thinking not.

If reading this blog is what you're here for, pull up a chair. If seeing the entire blog, pictures included, was your reason for stopping by, I'd try Chrome for the time being*. I haven't checked with Safari yet, since that's on my Mac, used for real work and not for horsing off making blog posts. I'll look into it.

And IE is still a cartoonishly bad way to look at the web, so I'm not even going to try that. Ecch.

*Of course, Google Chrome, like all browsers, is totally free and downloads in minutes. If you don't like it, you can always uninstall it later. It will easily import all of your bookmarks/favorites from your other browsers for you as well at the tap of your finger, so that nightmare can't hurt you anymore.

TD

Toy Story 3- Official Trailer

2009-10-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

My New Obsession- Letters of Note

2009-10-06T16:56:00.000-07:00

I'm a history enthusiast. I love the past so much that I'm making some right now as I type this. This site, Letters of Note, is a repository of photographs, links and especially of letters. Letters written by one person, intended to communicate to select recipients. It paints a living portrait of some events from our past and I'm telling you, it's terrific.

There is a letter there from Fidel Castro, then only fourteen years old, written to Franklin Delano Roosevelt. I never knew any such letter existed. There are letters of complaint sent to the FBI detailing the dangers of exposure to Elvis Presley. Alleta Sullivan's letter, also to Roosevelt, on the occasion of the deaths of all five of her sons in Naval battle, and FDR's personal letter in response.

An enthusiastic letter from Philip K. Dick to the producer of the Blade Runner movie just as it was coming together is presented in it's entirety. The letters David Berkowitz sent to the media while continuing his "Son of Sam" murders are here. There you'll find a short, loving note written on the back of a significant envelope by Frida Kahlo, to Diego Rivera. Poke around and you'll see a letter to Dwight Eisenhower from no one but Jackie Robinson, demanding change in the ugly, racially discriminatory practices and regulations that at the time were strangling all of the good out of the country. Jackie effin' Robinson!

That link once more, for those too lazy to scroll up to the top of this post again: Letters of Note. I can almost guarantee you'll bookmark it and return to it again and again.

Twitter and Shame

2009-10-02T14:19:00.000-07:00

I'm, uh... I'm on Twitter now. I just accidentally the whole internet now. Ugh.

Anyway, if you're on Twitter, or if you care to check out my twittery thing, I'm this guy: @tomdougherty.

I hate myself.

For Any Who Haven't Seen It, The EMMY AWARD WINNING Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog!

2009-09-21T07:06:00.001-07:00

Although they had to virtually create a new category to do it, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences awarded Joss Whedon's Dr. Horrible with a statuette last night. If you haven't seen this short film yet, here's your big chance:

Here's the funny pre-recorded acceptance skit, featuring the whole cast:

Hollywood Name Calling Vol. 2

2009-08-26T01:35:00.000-07:00

Keith David, David Keith.

Hollywood Name Calling Vol. 1

2009-08-22T02:53:00.001-07:00

Bill Nye/Bill Nighy

Mena Suvari/Mira Sorvino

Here's a Little Something

2009-08-21T17:57:00.000-07:00

I contributed this tiny monkey doodle to Chris Estey's Get Well Quick Card last year and literally forgot all about it. His wife Heidi showed up with a little zine thing that Chris had put together all about his sickness (a kind of flesh-eating thing) and his convalescence, and this image was part of the card reproduced on the cover.

Looking at it was weird, since I had no recollection of drawing it whatsoever. I had assumed that my friend Jon Morris had drawn it, but it's a lot less sophisticated than anything you could attribute to him, even on his worst gin-and-flu soaked days. When I realized it was me what done it, I had that feeling you get when you see an old photograph of yourself. Not recognition, but resignation: yeah, that was me.

I do think it's kind of cute, and once I scan it I'll post a better version of it here. This is the cell phone version.

Another Amazing Sarah Silverman Impression

2009-08-19T11:18:00.000-07:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

That's Amy Phillips. She's very funny, as her website will attes t.

Previously: Audrey Plaza as Sarah Silverman.

So Where The Hell Have I Been?

2009-08-18T16:38:00.000-07:00

This is an old doodle from a project that was interrupted long ago. I thought it was an apt choice for this entry.

If you are or were a regular reader of this blog, I feel like I owe you an apology of sorts for posting so infrequently. I keep meaning to, but I'm still, STILL looking for a job, and I'm encountering a wall of apathy from potential employers that means working three times as hard to try to make something happen for myself.

Add to that the death of my computer. I'm borrowing a laptop from a friend of mine (Hi Adrianna!) until I get the call from Frys telling me mine has been resurrected. They said that, given my place in queue it would take two weeks to fix my HP. That is almost five times longer than it took Jesus to return, so I'm expecting big things.

Also, money is tight enough to cut off almost all of my circulation right now. I'm sticking close to home, polishing my guns and reading the Bible, looking for loopholes. I'll try to get back to the regular blog business soon, but in the meantime, everybody please surrender your jobs to me.

Thanks!

Look for me on Facebook. I'll be the one wearing a carnation.

Fun With Found Images

2009-08-13T23:49:00.001-07:00

Actual promotional shot from back in the day.

Now made at least a thousand times better.

Mysterious Mysteries of the Cell Phone Variety

2009-08-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

I'd given a lot of thought to posting this, and then I forgot all about it.

Last summer- four cell phones ago- I was awakened around 2 AM one July night by the ping of a text message being swallowed into my little LG. Thinking it might be important, not thinking at all, I sat up, grabbed the phone and opened the message.

There was no text, only an image. Only this image, accidentally sent from a stranger to my unwitting device. I don't remember if I replied- I probably did text back to tell the sender that they misdialed- but I do know I didn't receive a reply to my reply so that was the end of it.

Clearing some stuff off my external hard drive, I ran across the picture, which was cool enough to save. Again I don't know the subject, but I have to say that it's a terrific picture and a swell tattoo.

Everybody Panic!

2009-08-13T06:25:00.001-07:00

/old.

//still funny.

John Hughes

2009-08-06T22:03:00.000-07:00

You would have to be made of stone, with a cast-iron heart, dressed in hand-me-downs from Hitler not to be affected by this grueling scene from the John Hughes written/produced/directed "She's Having A Baby", an underrated, underseen film from 1988. Hughes, more so than even Tarantino, understood the use of evocative music and the way it shaped/manipulated moviegoers' emotions. Here, Kate Bush's "This Woman's Work" sets the waterworks flowing while Kevin Bacon relives all of his married life while waiting for good news, waiting for the birth of his and Elizabeth McGovern's first child. Reminiscent in some ways of the married life montage scene in the beginning of Pixar's "Up".

John Hughes died unexpectedly today, while walking with his family on a trip to Manhattan. He made more of an impact on film and on filmgoers than any dozen other filmmakers of his generation. Sure, he was funny, but his films and his writing had heart, and had soul, and that's really what sets him apart from some other heart-tuggers I could mention.

Here's that scene:

I'm inspired to post another heartbreaking scene, this one is taken from another of his non-teen movies. It's the achingly sweet-sad ending from "Planes, Trains and Automobiles". "Planes" boasts one of Steve Martin's best performances, showcases what is definitely John Candy's greatest turn at bat, and is one of the funniest "odd couple" road movies ever- maybe the best. That John Hughes felt comfortable ending his slapstick comic story with this sad, sweet moment is a true testament to his vision of what films should be- open, friendly, familial and warm. If you haven't seen this one, don't watch this video, as it is the actual finish of the film. Rent it and watch the whole thing.

Or, if you have the patience, the whole movie is now up on YouTube, so you can make a playlist and watch the whole enchilada instead of working. John would like that.

Rhonda!

2009-08-06T09:00:00.001-07:00

A newly emerging software program that allows the user to actually draw 3D wireframe models in real time. It's called Rhonda.

This is James Patterson creating his trademark fascinating figure drawings in the round.

The link for the software is down now, no doubt crushed by the mass of traffic it's drawn. Once it's up again, check it out at rhondaforever.

I got this video from drawn.ca where you'll find a little more information about the developer and even more information in the comments section.

Nobody Watches The Watchmen- Funny or Die!

2009-07-22T04:52:00.000-07:00

Nobody Watches the Watchmen - watch more funny videos

I'm piling up the geek videos lately! Whew!

From Funny or Die! comes the true story of the creation of the movie version of Watchmen. For those unfamiliar with the Watchmen book, consult wikipedia and read up on Watchmen and Alan Moore and all will be made clear.

Dr, Doom's Standup Set- NSFFF

2009-07-21T05:12:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the one, the only, Calamity Jon Morris. Let's give it up for CJ, evvabody!

Moon Landing Hoax Rehearsal Footage.

2009-07-21T04:09:00.001-07:00

Your eyes are not deceiving you. Link

Creepy Orkin Commercials

2009-07-19T01:07:00.001-07:00

It's the attitude and the voice of the bug that fills me with dread in these Orkin ads. It gives a "District 9" kind of vibe to the whole idea of insect intruders.

Jesus Swerves

2009-07-16T10:17:00.001-07:00

John Lassetter and Disney's 1983 Test Footage For "Where The Wild Things Are"

2009-07-15T23:45:00.000-07:00

This didn't set the Disney suits on fire back then, but now I'm sure Lassetter could have secured the rights to the Sendak classic, if Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers' version wasn't already on its way.

Ladybugs Swarm House- CNN Video.

2009-07-12T00:31:00.000-07:00

This is pretty interesting. As a lifelong lover of little ladybugs I like this a lot.

You want to know what I think is going on here?

A Rainbow of Polar Bears

2009-07-09T04:15:00.000-07:00

I feel like this post has been guest edited and produced by Ranger Rick magazine.

After seeing another picture of a bright purple polar bear last night (temporarily discolored by a topical medicinal ointment) I decided to see what other colors polar bears come in these days. Turns out that there is a full spectrum of the little dudes out there. Take a look:

Purple!
Green!
Pink!
Blue!
and sometimes, in the right light, and under the right conditions,
Yellow!
One last little fun fact: did you know that Polar Bears have bright blue tongues? It's true!

John Mayer Performs Human Nature at the Michael Jackson Memorial.

2009-07-07T17:21:00.000-07:00

Favorite!

2009-07-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

"Tom, what is your all-time favorite pop song?" no one asked. A quick answer is "Vanishing Girl" by the Dukes of Stratosphear (really XTC in a Clark Kent-like disguise).

What's so special about it? Clever lyrics, catchy, catchy music. It works like a pocket watch. Listen for yourself:

Vanishing Girl

A Jonathan Coulton Sample Pack

2009-07-05T13:54:00.000-07:00

I've had some of his music buried in my Itunes folder for a couple of years without realizing that it was all performed by the same guy. Ladies and Gentlemen, the geeky musical stylings of Jonathan Coulton.

Big Bad World One - currently my favorite song in the tri state area.

Still Alive -the music that plays over the end credits of the game "Portal"

Code Monkey -this was used as the theme song to G4's cartoon series Code Monkeys.

A funny cover of Baby Got Back

Skullcrusher Mountain

Of Course, Of Course...

2009-07-04T17:28:00.001-07:00

Sal and Walt's Destino!

2009-07-03T20:54:00.000-07:00

Salvador Dali and his longtime friend from Bible camp Walt Disney threw in together to create a surreal animated project, to be titled "Destino", but since it would have been very expensive and perhaps even impossible to pull off in 1945, it was never completed during their lifetimes.

In 2003, this little curiosity was dusted off and finished, thanks in part to the modern computer-aided animation techniques. I saw it play with "The Triplets of Belleville", but that wasn't a Disney production, so it didn't appear on the Triplets disc. Instead, it will be released in 2010, after a couple of false alarms. It sounds like this might be a stand-alone disk- an odd choice for a seven minute cartoon, but it will be supported with documentaries and extras. I'd like that.

Read about Destino's tortured sixty-year crawl to the screen here.

Still More Favorite Local Logos & Signs

2009-07-03T03:11:00.000-07:00

They put "Chinese Cuisine" up there to make it clear that this restaurant offers Chinese food the way the French intended.

AI Penguin wears his FDA rating proudly.

From the collection of Pees Ralston comes the Allied Ice Penguin and the racistish Chef at Wok sign. The Allied Ice Penguin, the Hester Prynne of ice mongers, is in Fremont, I believe, but I'll get Jen's information and update this if I'm wrong. I see it all the time, I admire it, but I can't put my finger on where it is.

Chef at Wok is on Greenwood in the Broadview neighborhood, and it currently enjoys a 3 1/2 star rating on Yelp.

Lemon Squirrel For The Win!

2009-07-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

Previously: Lemon Babies!

Zombieland Trailer!

2009-07-02T06:21:00.001-07:00

More Favorite Local Logos & Signs

2009-07-01T17:23:00.000-07:00

Tigertail's sign is hand painted, from what I can see.

These two are only a couple of blocks from one another in Ballard/Greenwood: The Tigertail Bar and Cafe Bambino. I stole both of these shots from the internet, but forgot to make a note of where I got them, and that was days ago now. I'll credit them soon.

Tin Hat, step up your game!

Blip

2009-07-01T13:52:00.000-07:00

Blip from Sean Mullen on Vimeo.

Tee Shirt Idea

2009-07-01T02:28:00.000-07:00

This post is temporary. It will fade with the morning fog.

Update: I've changed my mind and decided to offer it as a wallpaper for anyone out there who might want it. I have it on my desktop and Mario's cheery countenance and eyeless sockets have brightened my day considerably.

I'm also adding this toddler tee shirt design. I like it, because it's funny and wee small kids don't know what they're wearing anyway. We dress kids to entertain ourselves.

Toddler shirt on four different colors:

My First Dictionary

2009-06-22T02:56:00.001-07:00

The internet is full of wonderful, funny, dark, creepy things. This is one of them. My First Dictionary.

Hometown Town Makes Good

2009-06-14T01:01:00.000-07:00

Go Pens! Belated congratulations and much love to the mighty Picksburg Pingwins on once again taking Lord Stanley's Cup.

The Picksburg Stillers won the Super Bowl earlier this year. If the Pirates take the series this summer (no reason yet to think that is impossible) Pittsburgh would be only the second city in history to have three major sports championships won in a single year.

I don't follow football Ay-Tall, and I only really enjoy baseball when I'm high, or at the park watching it live, or high at the park watching it live, but even so, it would be great to see the 'burgh make sports history again.

My Favorite Local Logos

2009-06-13T01:51:00.000-07:00

Part one of an occasional series showcasing especially beautiful logos in and around Seattle gives us the Crow Roofing logo, simple, cute and old school. I'd love to have a tee shirt with this guy on it.
The Elephant Car Wash logo, seen here on the sign on Denny, lit up like Vegas at Christmas:

Next we have the Spud Fish & Chips logo hanging on the sign of the Alki store. Mmm Spud!

Last, at Takohachi in the International District we find this hypnotically beautiful octopus. I don't know if this is still in operation. This may be a ghost sign by now.

More to come...

A Home for Awkward Family Photos

2009-05-27T00:31:00.000-07:00

Awk-waaard!

I Sing The Body Ventura

2009-05-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

This video has been posted everywhere recently, and I post it here mostly for easy access for myself and for my friends. Jesse "The Governor" Ventura debates Elizabeth Hasselbeck on the merits of waterboarding. Ordinarily I wouldn't be as enthusiastic about a professional wrestler beating on a small woman, but this is the one time I'll make an exception.

Surrogate Sleeper?

2009-05-22T12:54:00.000-07:00

Every summer we are subjected to weekend after weekend filled with blockbuster movies. Most are overhyped and underwhelming, but there are always unexpected surprises. Some popcorn movies you never hear about until they're already in your local septaplex. I had no idea this big budget science fiction thriller even existed until a few minutes ago.

I think it's interesting that so many filmmakers are turning to smaller, independent comics for film ideas. From Men in Black years ago through A History of Violence, The Road to Perdition and 30 Days of Night, and now Surrogates, the indie thriller comic is really starting to make its way into the movie business.

Tarako!

2009-05-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

Reasons for the Existence of Canada

2009-05-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

Some reasons supporting the continued existence of Canada:

Joni Mitchell
The Kids in the Hall
Neil Young
Bryan Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim comics series, soon to be a motion picture directed by Edgar "Shaun of the Dead" Wright!

Prove me wrong, kids. Show your work.

Circus Contraption's Last Days! Hurry and See Them Before It's Too Late!!

2009-05-17T12:29:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen Circus Contraption, the time is nigh! As I type this, there are only TWELVE PERFORMANCES LEFT of the SHOW TO END ALL SHOWS! Holy mother, you will kick yourself into chunks if you miss this opportunity. It's an entire evening of carnival blockhead-type stuff, truly funny clown work, tastefully naughty exotic dancing and acrobatics, and, of course, excellent music.

Their site has a few "peeps" at the show, to whet the appetite. You've really got to see them as soon as you can. I cannot stress enough the painful disappointment you will feel once the well runs dry and your neighbors are sloshing around filled to the brim with their joyful memories of this experience.

They're performing in Fremont- that's the center of the universe! It could not be easier to find. Buy tickets in advance and save your tears later. There are libations and snacks available inside, and souvenirs too, including must-have CDs. Arrive early to find parking, fill up on beer and popcorn inside.

The show runs Feb 27 - Jun 14, 2009

Want To See A Great Movie?

2009-05-11T23:28:00.001-07:00

I'm guessing that you probably like movies, and what's more, you probably prefer good ones. If this sounds like you, you ought to try to catch A Face in the Crowd, showing this month on TCM and widely available on DVD.

The film stars the always terrific Andy Griffith, playing sharply against type, deconstructing his down home image and turning it inside out in the role of "Lonesome" Rhodes, a country-styled comedian and singer with one of the most realistic and ugly personalities I've ever seen on film. This is one of the best character studies of its time, and one of my favorite Elia Kazan movies. Patricia Neal (another favorite of mine) and Walter Matthau (another one!) costar. The screenplay was written by the great Budd "On the Waterfront" Schulberg, based on his own short story "Your Arkansas Traveler". Movies are rarely as good as this one, and are never better.

Wiki

Perfect Fanboy Behavior!

2009-05-11T00:57:00.000-07:00

Vote "Yes" on the Skrull Gay Marriage Initiative, this fall, won't you?

Rarely do I see a photograph of adult, male comic book fans in comic costume drag that doesn't make me want to vomit myself unconscious. Today, I ran across these pictures of some (god bless 'em) geeks dressed as honest-to-gosh Jack Kirby original sixties-era Skrulls and they filled my heart with joy. The imagination, enthusiasm and attention to detail make these guys more heroes than villains in my book.

I've included some pictures of the Kirby model Skrulls, for the most of you out there who neither know what I'm talking about or care.

Jack's OG Skrulls (above).

When Abbott & Costello went to Mars, few people know that it was as part of an extraterrestrial
exchange program. "Zarkon is on third base, fool!" said one while choking the other into a coma.

100 Best Movie Lines In 200 Seconds

2009-05-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

I love this kind of thing.

Hellboy in Fremont

2009-04-30T01:09:00.000-07:00

I somehow missed this Mike Mignola Hellboy promo poster. I hope to find one somewhere soon, but until then, this'll have to do.

It Came To Me In A Dream

2009-04-29T04:36:00.000-07:00

I've just been shaken awake at four AM by a dream about my father. He and I aren't exactly estranged, but we've been separated by his hearing problem and the fact that I haven't been home to see my family on the East Coast in far, far too long. He can't hear me to talk on the phone, so we've become more distant than I ever wanted.

Add to this my recent relapse into some of the anxiety issues I "enjoyed" a few years ago. Sleep is difficult, I have no real idea where my future lies, and blah blah blah.

Tonight, as I slept, forces aligned to teach me a little about my father. In my dream, I realized that the disarray of my life now, coupled with key little details of recent weeks (sleeping with the TV on, sleeping on the sofa, etc.) exactly mirror my father's life for decades. In the dream, I was visiting my folks, and there was a surprise late season snowfall in the middle of the night. I walked out onto the porch of their old house and took in the beauty of the scenery- an idealized, snowglobe version of their actual neighborhood. I scooped up a palmful of winter slush, surprised to find it cool in my hand, but not exactly cold.

The dream flashed forward, and my father was sleeping in the passenger's seat of his old van. I tried to get him to come into the house and sleep in his bed, but he wouldn't answer me. I sat in the driver's seat and drove the car into the house, parking it in the kitchen. I walked to the passenger's side and woke him gently, and he walked into the living room. He laid down on the sofa, and without a word went back to sleep.

I woke up feeling anguished and a little lost. I realized suddenly that my father and I share the same anxiety issues, and the same disappointments and the same frustrations. He drank every day after work, often coming home eight or nine hours after his shift was over. He avoided our home when I was a kid and a teenager, and thus, he has no fixed spot in my memory at all. He was always uncomfortable and restless, and he would describe this restlessness as "getting antsy", and once this feeling was upon him he'd leave the house and we wouldn't see him for hours. I don't think he's had a full eight hours sleep in his life.

His generation is not as likely to acknowledge these things, and definitely not as apt to seek out help for an emotional or psychiatric problem. He must have been miserable for a long, long time. I understand that only now. I can't believe it's taken me this long to see my father as a complete person, and not as a part time boogeyman, part time knucklehead.

I wish I was back there now to talk to him and just hang out a little. I've got to make that happen soon.

Mickey Mouse in Runaway Brain!

2009-04-15T01:09:00.000-07:00

Mickey Mouse (and Sideshow Bob!) in Runaway Brain! Mickey really redeems himself for nearly a century's work in mostly dull pictures with his excellent performance in this Roger Rabbit-like horror film pastiche. I really love this short. It's not even eight minutes of your time. Give it a shot, won't you?

From the Dirty Little Secrets Collection From Hallmark

2009-04-13T01:56:00.000-07:00

A "gently" racist greeting card, circa the early seventies or late sixties from the looks of it.

That means that this card was dreamt up and executed well after Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech and the march on Selma, among other race-relation milestones of the time. They're still somewhere between mayonnaise and milk on the "white scale". I'm sure that the Hallmark folks thought this was just adorable at the time.

2009-04-12T23:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am a sellout. You will now notice some ads on this blog; they're there to make me rich.

Please go out now and buy a new Volvo and tell 'em Tom sent you. They'll know who you mean. I get almost fifty cents for every one you buy, so get one for every member of your family, won't you?

The Amazing Carter Goodrich

2009-04-11T01:22:00.000-07:00

Carter G on the New Yorker's Cartoon Bank site.

Simpsons to the Letter

2009-04-09T23:08:00.001-07:00

Click on this to see a slightly larger version. I think it will be larger. If not, I apologize*.

Aren't those old school Simpsons drawings the sh*t?

*I just checked and it is in fact enormous. It will crush your computer. If it does, I apologize for that too.

Muppet Rawk!

2009-03-31T19:22:00.000-07:00

I'm a late addition to the roster of a muppet-themed art show coming up. We have to reimagine an album cover with muppets. This is the capital-S Sloppy digital mock-up of the Bowie album I chose, which looked simple enough to get done before the show. Don't click on this- it is really ugly up close. It's little more than a bunch of photos cut and pasted together with some frosting on the top. I like the idea though and I'm looking forward to getting this done.

Better with the old price sticker at an angle, huh?

The original, if you need a reminder:

Republicans Hit and Run

2009-03-31T09:41:00.000-07:00

Updates to the Artblog and the Portfolio

2009-03-30T02:18:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, I am looking for work. In fact, I'm a little on the desperate side right now.

To this end, I have updated both my portfolio and my more informal sketches and painting blog, repurposed as a sort of spillover portfolio of sorts.

So, if you have a job laying around, and you're not staffing it with a cousin or a brother in law, why not give it to me? What a great idea!

The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze

2009-03-29T11:50:00.000-07:00

From the classic movie It Happened One Night (1934)

Irving R Levine Dies at 86

2009-03-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

Story

Oh, Yes. There Will Be Beans

2009-03-26T11:22:00.000-07:00

I have work related beans to spill. I must wait, as I am still in the throes of this project, but I promise you will be inundated with funny, disturbing little beans soon.

Richard Scarry Meets The Beatles

2009-03-19T17:47:00.000-07:00

From the back cover of the February 1965 issue of Golden Magazine comes this very early reference to the Fab Four by Richard Scarry. Given the lead time on magazines back then, this is an especially early Beatles reference.

I've never seen this reprinted anywhere before. I wonder if they had Scarry himself add the Beatle wigs or if they just asked someone in the production office to do it.

Back from Wally World!

2009-03-16T14:16:00.000-07:00

I was treated to a fantastic trip to Walt Disney World that just absolutely could not be topped. It was my friend Cynthia True's birthday, and she and her husband Erik Wiese, along with my old time pal, Cyn's sister Daryle Conners stayed at the Disney Contemporary Resort, and had the most blessed, magical (really, I would use that word!) time.

I was hoping to get my phone repaired so that I could make a proper post to cover the trip, but I'll just add to this one once I get the photos from the dead phone.

We were incredibly lucky with this trip too, since at every turn there were happy accidents and empty lines for the best rides. The timing was perfect throughout the day, every day.

The weather, the company, the everything- just amazing. Thank you to perpetual birthday girl Cynthia and thank you Erik. I even got a little bit of color in that hot Florida sun!

XXOO

Gatorade Grape

2009-03-10T00:41:00.000-07:00

Q.) Great purple drank or the greatest purple drank?

(Answer below)

˙ɥʇoq(˙ɐ

Mickey Rourke Back In "Iron Man 2" Lineup?

2009-03-09T02:38:00.000-07:00

It looks like the casting pendulum has swung back to Mickey Rourke for a villain role in Iron Man 2, but the reports can't seem to settle on exactly which bad guy Rourke will be playing. Since the producers and director have hinted that they'll be pursuing the "Demon in a Bottle" storyline dealing with Tony Stark's alcoholism, I think I've figured out the part they've got in store for the sequel, and they couldn't have cast it better.

Mickey Rourke as "The Bottle"!
Iron Man has his work cut out for him.

Rush Limbaugh Addresses The Nation (Again)

2009-03-09T02:15:00.000-07:00

Rush Limbaugh addresses the nation... - watch more funny videos

Starring David "T Bones" Koechner. Written by Chad Carter and Adam McKay

Just Sayin'- Monsters VS Aliens Edition

2009-03-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

Watchmen Saturday Morning

2009-03-06T03:21:00.001-08:00

The YouTube link was already taken down, but the cartoon is hosted here.

Kangaroo With Two Broken Feet

2009-03-04T03:47:00.001-08:00

My heart just exploded.

Copywriting Sample

2009-03-04T01:49:00.001-08:00

I've decided to write copywriting samples for catalog work. I randomly chose this product line to use as an example of my copywriting prowess: Infectious Awearables- a line of neckties featuring patterns designed to resemble magnified views of virii, bacterium and microbes responsible for the spread of serious diseases.

Building on their already extensive line, I've written the following catalog copy introducing a few new ties to their already covetable assortment of fine gentlemens' neck adornment things.

Syphilis

Syphilis rates are declining in the United States but the disease still remains V. Delightful, with a rare blending of colors and shapes that can make even the skankiest among us lean forward and take notice! Everyone in Syphilus- the clotheshorse's gonorrhea!

Giardia lamblia

Named after the former mayor of New York, Giardia is an intestinal parasite capable of causing extremely severe abdominal symptoms when ingested, usually through food or Pepsi. Show some severely fashionable symptoms by decorating yourself with the parasite Esquire magazine calls "This fall's Heliobacter Pylori".

Malaria

Malaria is caused by a parasite that is transmitted from person to person by the bite of an infected mosquito. Malaria is "Number one most popular" among the talented seamstresses and seamsters handcrafting these classic silk neckties, and it's easy to see why. Conjuring up images of steamy tropical jungles and factories teeming with life and perspiration, these ties are worn by the actual overseers of our work forces abroad. The inspiration: a melding of natural silkworm and mosquito offerings. This summer, everything’s coming up Malaria!

Go Team!

2009-03-02T03:01:00.001-08:00

Google Honors Geisel

2009-03-02T02:35:00.000-08:00

If you click it it'll only get bigger.

Google's logo today pays homage to Dr. Seuss (born Theodor Seuss Geisel), on the 105th anniversary of his birth. Since most of us have Google embedded in our browsers and such, we don't often get a look at the Google Classic homepage, so I thought I'd clip it for you.

So Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

Bill Gates Meets George Jetson

2009-03-02T01:50:00.000-08:00

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-GB&playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:a517b260-bb6b-48b9-87ac-8e2743a28ec5&showPlaylist=true&from=shared" target="_new" title="Future Vision Montage">Video: Future Vision Montage</a>

We must learn to trust that Microsoft is real, and it has a plan for us.

Tracy Morgan IS Astronaut Jones

2009-03-01T19:11:00.001-08:00

Watch more SpikedHumor videos on AOL Video

Download an MP3 of Tracy Morgan's infectious "Astronaut Jones" theme song here.

Coraline in 3D

2009-03-01T07:09:00.000-08:00

I don't know how much more time you've got- It may even end this very weekend- but if you have a chance to see Coraline in 3D, you should rush and try to catch it. I saw it last night through the generosity of my friend Daryle (thanks, Daryle!), and it was spectacular. Stay through the end credits and you'll see a tiny example of the exacting, hard work it took to hand craft this movie. It's cute and appealing, but also creepy and dark, so parents should only take kids who can hold up to dark fantasy and occasional scary doings.

Dakota Fanning, John Hodgman, Teri Hatcher, Ian McShane and believe it or not, Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders of French and Saunders (and Absolutely Fabulous) fame provide the bulk of the voice work, and everyone is terrific . Ian McShane is becoming one of my favorite voice actors, great here and also excellent as Tai Lung in last year's Kung Fu Panda. He's got an excellent villainous rumble to his voice that can also be shaped into a gruff, friendly purr when the part calls for it. He's a natural.

This is the first official release from Laika Studios, though the director of the studio Henry Selick was the man responsible for bringing Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach to life. This is similarly spooky, but is also original enough, scary enough and warm enough to set it apart from its predecessors. If you miss it in 3D, do catch it in regularvision. I can promise you'll enjoy it.

The Simpsons Renewed For At Least Two More Years

2009-03-01T05:42:00.000-08:00

A family of trouble-making yellow-bellies is gunning for Marshall Matt Dillon! The Simpsons has been renewed for another two years, ensuring that Homer and Co. will break the record for the longest running American television series, a record previously held by the television western Gunsmoke.

Gunsmoke ran for twenty years, ending its run in 1975, and for years since then that record has been thought to be unbreakable. This year marks Bart's twentieth anniversary, so next season will be record setting, as will every golden Simpsons year after that. That is frankly incredible. Congratulations to Matt Groening and to everyone involved in creating the best loved television family in the world!

You don't have to Google long to find an appropriate Simpsons image for any story.

Welcome To Traitor Talk With Rush Limbaugh

2009-02-28T23:47:00.001-08:00

Unamerican Rush Limbaugh tells America how much he thinks about their economic recovery hopes under the elected President of the United States. Bipartisan politics are more important than your mortgage, education, job or retirement, it turns out.

North By Northwest, Word By Word

2009-02-27T07:46:00.000-08:00

I spent last night watching the Hitchcock classic North by Northwest, and reading the script as I did so. That was a blast I'd recommend to anyone interested in movies or writing or just interested in doing something fun.

On the page, you can interpret lines of dialog any way you like, but when you hear Eve Marie Saint actually say them aloud, you're forced to change your own mental performance and weigh hers more carefully, reading intellectual and emotional nuance as she had intended. Cary Grant is always great, and in a role that is a maybe a little too innocent on the page, he manages to keep you believing in his character. The plot is full of improbabilities and impossibilities, but the performances help make the ridiculous real; at least they're "real" in the heightened reality of Planet Hitchcock.

Many screenplays are available online for free, and many more can be found on ebay and in specialty stores, both online and brick and mortar. You might enjoy the experience of reading along with one of your favorites, or with a respected classic you might not know as well.

As a bonus, I give you Seth Rogen as Cary Grant in NXNW from an issue of Vanity Fair last year.

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse? ONN Report

2009-02-27T04:00:00.000-08:00

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

A Helpful Hint

2009-02-26T08:34:00.000-08:00

I've been plagued by a terrible, musty odor in my apartment since last week's flood from the apartment above. I had a fan running 24/7 for a few days to dry things out, but the funk remained. I did a little research on the internet, and following the advice of more than one website I bought a small bag of charcoal briquettes last night. I opened the bag, poured half the contents into a paper grocery bag and put it in the closet. The websites said that the charcoal would begin to absorb the odor and would have a noticeable effect within 24 hours. It's been about nine hours and the smell has diminished almost completely! This is incredible.

What's more, you can leave a bucket or bag of charcoal almost anywhere for up to six months, and the charcoal will continue to absorb moisture and odor. It's a great idea for long term storage, keeping your furniture or other belongings damp and odor free for as long as you like, providing you swap out the charcoal twice a year. You can then use the used charcoal to barbecue if you like.

I wish I'd done this last weekend. What a relief!

Eyes, Nose, Ears, Mouth- The Face of Jordan Brown.

2009-02-24T02:34:00.000-08:00

Empty.

Look at this picture of eleven year old Jordan Brown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. What do you think you can discern about this boy based on this photograph alone? He's in trouble now, but what kind of trouble?

Did he steal the family car and drive it to the toy store? Did he hire a stripper for his eleventh birthday party? Did he illegally download music and games from the web?

Would you guess this boy is being charged as an adult for the premeditated shotgun murder of his father's pregnant girlfriend? Jordan Brown allegedly used his Christmas gift shotgun (!) to kill 26 year old Kenzie Houk after first taking care to cover the shotgun with a blanket to conceal it as he carried it through the house.

"Houk was eight months pregnant with Brown's father's child, and also had two daughters, 7 and 4, who lived in the rural home with the Browns where authorities said she was slain as she lay in bed about 8 a.m. Friday."

"...the boy hopped onto a school bus with Houk's oldest daughter, police said. He was picked up from school several hours later after some tree trimmers called 911 when Houk's youngest daughter told them she thought her mother was dead."

Psychotic behavior. Clearly, this kid is troubled. You might even call him a monster, but his father surrounded the boy with guns, and didn't try to keep the guns locked away, and Houk's brother in law said:

"Jordan had told (my son around Christmas) he was going to pop Kenzie in the head and pop both kids. We didn't believe it. ... We told Chris (Jordan's father) and Kenzie and they didn't believe it."

So, Jordan's father has failed this sick little boy time and time again, and failed his girlfriend, fatally. And yet, according to this story, he will not be charged with a single thing. Lawrence County District Attorney John Bongivengo said:

"Should he have had the guns locked up? Yeah, obviously. On the flip side, he lost his girlfriend, his newborn and now his son is facing life in prison without parole. I think his punishment is enough at this point."

He added, by way of a partial explanation:

"In this area, in Lawrence County, it's not unusual for a boy that age to have a gun and know how to shoot it. This is a hunting and fishing community."

Here's some more information, courtesy of the AP.

Robbed.

2009-02-23T01:58:00.000-08:00

Mickey Rourke: Robbery Victim.

Playboy Losing Its Mojo?

2009-02-22T18:06:00.000-08:00

Reports seem to indicate Playboy magazine is going tits-up.

The house that Hef built has posted losses of over $150 M for 2008, making it a poor risk for investment and a poor brand to call on for other opportunities. With an octogenarian readership and nothing to stimulate their own package, Playboy looks to be headed for the attic footlocker of publishing memory.

There go the seventies.

Movie Recommendations

2009-02-22T02:27:00.001-08:00

Recently, I've watched a ton of movies. That's right, I've watched 2000 pounds of movies.

Some of these were excellent, some merely good to great. None of them was bad, since I don't watch bad movies if I can at all help it. If something starts to suckin' I turn it off, simple as that.

Recently watched and enjoyed: The Wrestler, Waltz With Bashir, Vicky Christina Barcelona, Sabrina (the Bogart/ Hepburn/ Holden/ Wilder one, not the more recent version with Han Solo in it), Slumdog Millionaire, Casablanca, Gone Baby Gone, The Country Girl (excellent), The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, To Catch A Thief, The Conversation, Helvetica, Sons of the Desert, Robocop, Sunset Boulevard, West Side Story, Chicago, The Story of Three Loves, An American in Paris, Dr. Strangelove, Teacher's Pet, Stepbrothers, Pineapple Express, Safety Last, Gone With the Wind, Run Lola Run and Lawrence of Arabia. Many of these I saw on Turner Classic Movies, the single best reason to get basic cable. Classic movies, uncut and commercial free.

I'd recommend any and all of these movies. Some of them I've seen numerous times, some were new to me. Believe it or not, this was my first viewing of Lawrence of Arabia and The Conversation. That's what is so great about movies: there are always more old movies you haven't seen before. And more great new movies coming out every week. It's mind-boggling.

I don't have much to add; this post is just sort of a mash note to movies. Still the safest way to travel.

My Place Is A Dump

2009-02-21T11:27:00.000-08:00

The tiny, dark, unpleasantly carpeted little place I call home is failing me once again. For the second time in a month, the main water line has sprung a leak and the water has been shut off. Actually, there are leaks all over the building. This isn't even the first time water has streamed into my closet from above. This time it blew the circuit going to the kitchen and bath. No shower again for a while. Nice.

Another unrelated plumbing problem sometimes causes such a rattling roar from the downstairs that it actually shakes the dishes in the cupboards in my kitchen. That might go on all night until the woman who rents the apartment below me (as a massage studio) comes to work and- wait for it- jiggles the chain on her toilet. This apparently cannot be addressed without someone spending the time and money, so it won't be fixed, period.

I have had to sic the city on the last two landlords I've had for similar low standards. I'm getting tired of Seattle in some ways.

image source

Duck Dodgers Theme- Tom Jones

2009-02-21T02:32:00.000-08:00

A beautiful opening titles sequence, boasting an over-the-top "Thunderball" type theme song by the incomparable Tom Jones.

Freedom Rock

2009-02-20T16:48:00.000-08:00

Chalk On The Wild Side

2009-02-20T03:27:00.000-08:00

Flower and boat, boat and flower.
A meditation on perception and experience.

My friends Chris and Demian are lucky and blessed to live with Chris' daughter Keira. Keira at seven is one of those clever, funny kids that can not only make you laugh, but later make you marvel at how inventive her young mind has become. She's making her own comics now, which delights me to no end. I've heard about these comics, but I haven't seen any of them yet. They just sound like they'll be hilarious. Even the characters' names are so original that I refuse to post them here lest someone steal them and make their own comics. I want to be the one to steal them.

She draws a lot too. Here are a few pictures that are currently gracing the parking lot in front of their place in Ballard.

A rocket ship. Very iconic, and searching in its primal simplicity.

Good Kitty Gone Bad. A recreation of a popular comic scenario.

No Drive In The Park

2009-02-17T18:37:00.000-08:00

Today a woman in a Cadillac idled parallel to my car waiting for the parking space I WAS PULLING INTO! She arrived on the scene a full ten seconds after I did and could plainly see what I was doing. After I parked, she hesitated a moment and then sped away, showing a little annoyance in the way she revved her engine. I still don't know what she thought was about to happen.

Later, a car parked so close to my driver's side door that I had to climb over the shifter from the passenger's side to get in and drive away. He was less than eight inches from my side mirror.

Tee Shirts Are Seriously Coming Soon

2009-02-17T18:24:00.000-08:00

I'm working on it. I know I said that about seventy years ago, but look! I really am working on them!
No, this test image does not represent an actual tee shirt. The real tees will be awesomer.

Music 2000 on Look Around You

2009-02-17T06:05:00.001-08:00

Adult Swim has taken to showing the mind-destroyingly perfect BBC series"Look Around You". "Look" is a parody of educational films from the seventies (series one) and edutainment television programming from the early eighties (series two). Series two is meant to have been filmed in 1980-81, and in the first episode the hosts scientifically predict what music will sound like in the far-off year 2000. Here are their entries.

"Machadaynu"

"Sexual Interface"

"Rap"

Stumptown

2009-02-17T05:37:00.000-08:00

This may or may not be the cover to a little mini comique that I am doing for Stumptown. Before you ask, yes, I love bad printing. It's my favorite thing in the world.

TCB

2009-02-17T05:27:00.001-08:00

It seems like it's been a while since I've posted a picture of Little T, so I'm going to rectify that right now.

Looks like a human/cat hybrid in this shot, or like a man in a cat mask. He's a freak, is what I'm getting at.

Great Knockoff Package or The Greatest Knockoff Package?

2009-02-17T00:42:00.000-08:00

"Sense of Right" toys with a host of your favorite stars!

From Anonymous on /co/.

The New HD Simpsons Opener!

2009-02-16T02:41:00.000-08:00

Just in time to kick off 2009- the 20th anniversary of The Simpsons phenomenon!

Watch this in full screen HD and pick out all of the new inside references and jokes. My favorite so far is Homer's NASA portrait hanging on Bart's classroom wall. I like 'em subtle.

Also: at the supermarket, Marge is shown buying Krusty-O's (the cereal that put Bart in the Hospital in the earliest years of the show), Tomacco Juice (Homer created the deadly tomato/tobacco hybrid several seasons ago), and Mr. Sparkle detergent (Mr. Sparkle's logo so closely resembled Homer that it sent him on a quest for answers- answers that involved a fish and a lightbulb-nearly a decade ago).

OH! And Sunday was also Matt Groening's birthday, so happy birthday to him.

I'll admit I forgot where I found that image.

A Black Hole Devours A Star

2009-02-15T04:17:00.001-08:00

A Treasure Of The Internet

2009-02-12T06:03:00.000-08:00

From the Billis Helg owned-and-operated Young Adventure Friends comic and site.

The Multiplication Tables Have Turned: Nadya Suleman's Little Miracles

2009-02-11T23:51:00.000-08:00

(click to enlarge)

Nadya Suleman, the unmarried mother of six who, with the aid of fertility drugs and procedures, gave birth to another 8 mouths to feed only a few weeks ago, admits she's got no real plan to raise 14 children herself, so she's set up a website and encourages the people of the world to donate money so she can feed and care for her enormous family.

Ms. Suleman is not employed, but you can't blame her for that these days. She somehow scraped up the money to pay for the very expensive IVF treatments that resulted in six individual births and one birth of eight underweight babies at once. She's a birthing hobbyist.

"I longed for a huge family", she said. Three of her earlier children have special care needs and are described as "disabled". One would think she might have had her hands full taking care of the six she already had.

Her own mother,in fact, calls her decision to have this latest litter of babies "unconscionable":

"She already has six beautiful children, why would she do this?" Angela Suleman said... "I'm struggling to look after her six. We had to put in bunk beds, feed them in shifts and there's children's clothing piled all over the house." LINK

She's said to have undergone some cosmetic surgery and a makeover to more closely resemble the woman who seems to be her role model, Angelina Jolie (which is in and of itself kinda crazy, no?), and she may be mulling over some reality show-type bottom rung TV offers that would showcase her entire supersized family, selling their private lives for a much needed infusion of cash. The numbers have been tallied, and a life of even the most basic necessities for her family of 14 will cost her 1.5 million by the time they reach adulthood.

The public, for their part, have made their feelings known. A group in California has called for disciplinary action against the fertility clinic that made her pregnancies possible, some have called for tighter regulation of the entire fertility industry, and a small number of very vocal critics have forced the new mother into hiding through the time-tested use of death threats.

This last group proves their own point: some people just shouldn't breed.

UPDATE: The final piece is in place. Some benighted fool has offered the "Octomom" a porn contract. Caveat emptor.